Keep it in your pants

We received our first anonymous story and it’s pure gold.
Thank you to our rock hard donor.

Meladori

So if you’re a female and you’re reading this then you probably know by now that men tend to wake up with what’s commonly known as “morning wood”. I’m certainly no exception.

One morning in particular when I was in high school I woke up with the worst morning wood ever. I must have had too much liquid the night before because I needed to relieve myself like crazy. But like I said: WORST MORNING WOOD EVER. It wasn’t just hard, it was straight up. It was truly a force of nature which would not give way one bit. It was, without exaggeration, touching the area right below my belly button.

So, with my lightning rod erection I dashed to the bathroom in desperate need of urination. In such a rush I had no time to take care of such measures as closing the door. I now had the difficult task of making a stream of urine aimed upwards go at a downward 45 degree angle. I quickly decided the only solution was to make an arch.

So by now you can all-too-vividly imagine this scene of me standing there with my unsheathed lightning rod spouting a tall fountain of yellow liquid. A few seconds into the flow my dad walked past the door, stopped, and yelled “HOLY CRAP!” and then just sort of dashed away.
We’ve never spoke of this incident since.

~ by meladori on January 26, 2008.